Some Noodle Website
It was a brisk Summer morning. My EBFGP GPP was going w.* All I needed for my last challenge was to check it out. Some real serious checking it out was going to ensue. Jeff's junk was as good as gold at this point in time. Maybe even better. Like, darksteel, or platinum.
Or was it?
"Check starmen.net for Jeff's stuff! Seriously! I need to check it out! CHECK IT OUT!"
"Okay, okay, whatever."
My older brother, being the foolish non-starmen.net-type that he is, ignored my suggestion and instead proceeded to investigate Google.
"Drop a train on 'em. Wait, wait... I believe that today I am feeling... LUCKY. Check it out,Google-buddy." And oh, what a train it did drop.
Instead of being greeted with a suave, black and blue page like it usually does when I'm surfing the web, it gave me some macaroni-and-cheese colored taxicab page. What! But what was eerily odd was that this page had the correct information on it. AND IT WAS NOT FROM STARMEN.NET. My response was a simple one. "What! Instead of being greeted with a suave, black and blue page like it usually does
when I'm surfing the web, it gave you some macaroni-and-cheese colored taxicab page. What!" What,
indeed. I said nothing and only stared intently at the strange, strange foreign logo inscribed at
the top of the screen as my copies were printing. "Here you go." Oh, and... what a go... it...
here... okay, whatever.
This was not starmen.net. I know I said it before, but I'm really trying to emphasize a point here.
This was not starmen.net. I mean, seriously! It really wasn't! ... would I lie to you guys?
Okay, back to the point. This seemingly insignifigant table of required intelligent quotients had awakened
an astounding revalation within myself. There were other websites on the internet. Now,
figuring that out was a feat in itself. But this tiny list was so astoundingly deep that
it managed to hide yet another cake of knowledge.** Get ready, guys. This one's so good, I think
it deserves its own paragraph.
There are other EarthBound websites on the internet.
That's deep, right? Somehow those guys stuffed one more slice of knowledge cake in the source code of that
page.*** And this one is deeper. So, yeah, here's another paragraph. But I'm going to put two spaces
because this is extra important.
There are EarthBound websites on the internet that have knowledge layed out right there for you.
Like, free lists of Jeff's fixable stuff. And starmen.net does not have that out in the open. They probably
hide it somewhere, because I couldn't find it. I think that maybe there's a secret section titled
"Cool Information that RADIATION CAN'T FIND" and it has like how to fight the Sweltering Snowman and
stuff. That would be so rad.
Suffice to say, I was pretty disappointed that this crazy noodle website had beaten Starmen.net in
an information contest. I read the entire website. It has treasure troves of useful information
right there for you. I think that if starmen.net and the noodle website got into a fight, the
noodle website would just beat starmen.net up but starmen.net would put up a really good fight and
would also say funny things. That's why I like starmen.net. I'm always rooting for the underdog.
All these other EB websites are just much more expansive than Starmen.net. Check them out
sometime.
Wait, that last paragraph was dumb. It's really late and I'm tired. I'm just going to wrap it up right here
saying that I'm disappointed that starmen.net doesn't have information right out in the open about EarthBound.
Sure, it's funnier and stuff, but when it comes down to hardcore facts, we really don't have it all. So guys,
go make some of this stuff.
* Well. Yeah, that exists now. Get used to it.
** Cakes of knowledge don't exist. But they should. I would buy them. They would totally rock, man.
*** Is that subliminal messaging? Maybe someone should warn them.
ARTICLE DEDICATED TO: That macaroni website. I think it was like http://www.fobby.net or something.
It was a brisk Summer morning. My EBFGP GPP was going w.* All I needed for my last challenge was to check it out. Some real serious checking it out was going to ensue. Jeff's junk was as good as gold at this point in time. Maybe even better. Like, darksteel, or platinum.
Or was it?
"Check starmen.net for Jeff's stuff! Seriously! I need to check it out! CHECK IT OUT!"
"Okay, okay, whatever."
My older brother, being the foolish non-starmen.net-type that he is, ignored my suggestion and instead proceeded to investigate Google.
"Drop a train on 'em. Wait, wait... I believe that today I am feeling... LUCKY. Check it out,Google-buddy." And oh, what a train it did drop.
Instead of being greeted with a suave, black and blue page like it usually does when I'm surfing the web, it gave me some macaroni-and-cheese colored taxicab page. What! But what was eerily odd was that this page had the correct information on it. AND IT WAS NOT FROM STARMEN.NET. My response was a simple one. "What! Instead of being greeted with a suave, black and blue page like it usually does
when I'm surfing the web, it gave you some macaroni-and-cheese colored taxicab page. What!" What,
indeed. I said nothing and only stared intently at the strange, strange foreign logo inscribed at
the top of the screen as my copies were printing. "Here you go." Oh, and... what a go... it...
here... okay, whatever.
This was not starmen.net. I know I said it before, but I'm really trying to emphasize a point here.
This was not starmen.net. I mean, seriously! It really wasn't! ... would I lie to you guys?
Okay, back to the point. This seemingly insignifigant table of required intelligent quotients had awakened
an astounding revalation within myself. There were other websites on the internet. Now,
figuring that out was a feat in itself. But this tiny list was so astoundingly deep that
it managed to hide yet another cake of knowledge.** Get ready, guys. This one's so good, I think
it deserves its own paragraph.
There are other EarthBound websites on the internet.
That's deep, right? Somehow those guys stuffed one more slice of knowledge cake in the source code of that
page.*** And this one is deeper. So, yeah, here's another paragraph. But I'm going to put two spaces
because this is extra important.
There are EarthBound websites on the internet that have knowledge layed out right there for you.
Like, free lists of Jeff's fixable stuff. And starmen.net does not have that out in the open. They probably
hide it somewhere, because I couldn't find it. I think that maybe there's a secret section titled
"Cool Information that RADIATION CAN'T FIND" and it has like how to fight the Sweltering Snowman and
stuff. That would be so rad.
Suffice to say, I was pretty disappointed that this crazy noodle website had beaten Starmen.net in
an information contest. I read the entire website. It has treasure troves of useful information
right there for you. I think that if starmen.net and the noodle website got into a fight, the
noodle website would just beat starmen.net up but starmen.net would put up a really good fight and
would also say funny things. That's why I like starmen.net. I'm always rooting for the underdog.
All these other EB websites are just much more expansive than Starmen.net. Check them out
sometime.
Wait, that last paragraph was dumb. It's really late and I'm tired. I'm just going to wrap it up right here
saying that I'm disappointed that starmen.net doesn't have information right out in the open about EarthBound.
Sure, it's funnier and stuff, but when it comes down to hardcore facts, we really don't have it all. So guys,
go make some of this stuff.
* Well. Yeah, that exists now. Get used to it.
** Cakes of knowledge don't exist. But they should. I would buy them. They would totally rock, man.
*** Is that subliminal messaging? Maybe someone should warn them.
ARTICLE DEDICATED TO: That macaroni website. I think it was like http://www.fobby.net or something.
